The Ancient Theory of Mind Blowing

The day I graduated high school, I received a hand written letter from a freshman named Adam. Now at this point I knew Adam pretty well and he had become a friend of mine. So I opened the letter and it started out by saying something like, "It was almost a year ago but I still remember I was having a bad day and then to top it off I had to walk all the way home. That was until a senior was nice enough to stop his car and pick me up and drive me home." Adam lived down the street so I stopped to pick him up that day. It was really nothing to me but apparently meant a lot to him. Thinking about Adam reminds me a lot of one of my girlfriends in high school. We had lots of great memories but honestly I don't clearly remember all of them. But what does stand out though was when I would be all tired and frustrated after baseball practice. I would walk back to my car in the empty parking lot and there would always be a note waiting for me on my car windshield.

Neither story is flashy and neither story took a lot of planning or money but in both cases minds were blown. I still remember the feeling I would get opening those letters. The people involved experienced some sort of magical memory that sticks with them. I've been thinking a lot about what creates these mind blowing experiences and they really grow out of being good at little things. I feel like we focus too much on being extravagant and flashy when really memorable events are the result of people realizing that you took the time to think about them. In high school I was fortunate enough to eat lunch at the White House and to be honest I don't remember much about the meal but about 2 years later I ate lunch at my friend's house in Hanford, CA and I could to this day DRAW you the meal. Everything we ate was handpicked from their farm and that could have been one of the best meals I've had. Or when Biggest called me from Egypt right at midnight on New Year's Eve.... I thought to myself, "How did he do that math? Wow he planned that shit out. My mind is blown." Or when I would make an error in baseball. My coach, Art, would come up to me and whisper in my ear, "V, I've done that a 1,000 times. No one feels worse than you right now but relax. Just do what you need to do next time." And for some reason I not only appreciated Art for saying that but he calmed my nerves every time. It was like he had put himself in my situation before talking to me. I guess it's that empathy that lies at the core of mind blowing. People do not expect others to attempt to look through their eyes and when you do, they notice.

So why do we spend so much time trying to impress people with decorations and flossy things when it's the simple things that blow peoples' minds? I've been to a few weddings recently and you see some crazy things like chocolate fountains and the bride wearing more diamonds than a rapstar. I don't remember any of that shit to be honest. It's generic and it's fleeting. At Chuck's wedding they handed out a CD of their favorite songs. That seems to be standard these days BUT they sang the first song on the CD. How badass is that? I've been listening to them sing everyday on the way to work since the wedding. At another wedding I heard about, they handed out flip-flops so the ladies could take their heels off to dance. Both are cheap, simple ideas that are burnt into the minds of the people around you.

I don't think mind blowing is difficult it just takes time. You have to really sit and think about your audience. About their motivations and about their wants and desires. Don't be so generic and cookie cutter. For your next party or get together or class or meeting, instead of brainstorming about what alcohol to get or what decorations to buy or how to organize your meeting, brainstorm about who's coming. What do certain people have in common? How can you introduce this person to that person? What motivates people and what makes people smile? If you even take a few minutes to do this, I ensure you that at least a few minds will be blown. Just keep some Downy handy to clean up the mess.