The Family

Is there something that you think about everyday? What is it? Marriage? Your job? Not wanting to workout today? Before college, my answer most likely would have been either femaliens or my future. Within the last few years, without a doubt the answer is my family in India. Sometimes it's when I get out of the shower in the morning. Sometimes it's right before I go to bed at night. Sometimes it's even a familiar smell that enters my nose. Regardless of what's going on... they are on my mind at some point each and everyday. I bring this up because my concept of "family" has evolved greatly throughout my life and exponentially over the last 3 or 4 weeks.

Growing up, I didn't really have any relatives in the States and those few we did have, we were not close to by any means. So family meant parents, grandmas, and my two older sisters. We went to India every four years so as a youngster I was never super close to my relatives in the Motherland. The first evolution of my concept of family came towards the end of the time period that historians will come to call the The VLoveless Era (also known as Junior year at Stanford). I was stressed about ladies, school and my future. I forgot how to enjoy the little things in life. I forgot who I was and where I came from. I decided to spend a quarter in India with

my relatives and was forever changed at the core. For the first time, I felt like I knew where I came from. I felt like I was apart of something bigger than myself. I felt the enjoyment of people again rather than material things. I returned to school and the concept of family felt bigger than ever to me. Yet the evolution was not stable.

Fast forward to a couple months ago. I sadly realized that once I start working full-time, trips to India are going to become extremely infrequent. Without interaction and the occasional touch, people move on with their lives. With this still on my mind everyday, I found myself at the Konkani Convention in Canada. During a youth seminar, I was trying to explain to everyone what the Konkani community has come to mean to me. It was at that moment that I realized that the community had fulfilled that void in me that yearned for an extended family. I began to think about my sisters and what constitutes "family." For those that know the Kamath Kids, we're like 3 peas in a pod but when we're not together we rarely have time to talk to one another. My sister in New York, I see maybe once a year (if that). But when we see one another it's as if no time has passed. So are family people that you can be apart from and yet reunite in stride? That's what blew my mind. Many of the Konkani kids I see maybe once a year (if that) but that's exactly how I feel about them. I think about many of them on the daily. Many have had an enormous influence on my life. So is that not family? (Konkanis! ----->)

If my head had not already been affected, I began to think about my friends growing up and my college buddies. Many of them have had gigantic influences on my music tastes, the way I dance, the way I view the world, sports I like, the girls I'm into, etc. They are also a huge part of the person I have become and when it comes down to it, they are VLove. So these people are also family right? I was getting overwhelmed. Apparently I have more family then friends? Anyway, the last evolution of family was yet to occur.

Two weeks ago, after what felt like a family vacation with some Konkanis, my buddy invited me to join his clothing company for a fashion conference in Las Vegas. Now..... the crazy part about this offer is that my buddy refers to his family as a Dynasty and refers to everyone involved with the company as The Family. Anyway, I was really flattered that he thought so highly of me to invite me to spend a week with The Family in a rented house in Las Vegas. I was going to stay in a house with about 20 people I had never met and who all thought of one another as family. For those that have known me for a long time, I'm sure you have forgotten how awkward I am especially around people I don't know. So I arrived to the house to find that I was so different than people in the house. I'm not that fashionable. I'm Indian. My hair is disheveled much of the time. Many of them grew up together or were related. In other words I was completely and utterly awkward. One week later, that house shook my thoughts about family again. The actual convention was filled with glitz, glamour, infinite video-ho looking ladies, celebrities...... but none of that even sticks to my mind. What was profound.... what was glorious was the dedication the members of The Family showed my buddy. Many of them refused to go out at night because they were here to focus on business (mind you many of them were 20-24 year old men in Las Vegas). Many of them offered to stay in to watch the kids so my buddy could enjoy himself. Many of them didn't have enough money to make it to Vegas but came anyway. They weren't all related. They weren't being paid. It was all love for the future of The Family. Anyway throughout the week they showed me a lot of love, told me they felt blessed to have me a part of the group, and really pushed the limits of what I believed could be family. They don't do it for accolades or money but for each other. That really struck a cord with me and I wish they knew how they affected me.

(<---------- The Esfac'e Family and Me)

Family isn't about blood. You might not talk to your family everyday but when you're around them nothing has changed. Family makes you feel apart of something bigger than yourself even when you're by yourself. Family helps us rise up and reach that much higher than we could have by ourselves. Family is selfless in its love. I feel very blessed that my family continues to grow in my mind... how about yours?