The Magician in You

Tonight was my sister's wedding anniversary so I went out with her and my brother-in-law to a Middle Eastern joint to relax. He loves coffee so we got some Turkish coffee, which apparently is ridiculously strong (at least to someone that never drinks caffeine.) Needless to say I feel caffeine drunk right now. I could probably run outside and pick up my car if I wanted to do (my arms would probably rip off first but how crazy a story would that be?) Anyway the night got me to thinking about what I refer to as “everyday magic." It's funny how we as humans get super excited about big events in our life. We hype up for months proms, weddings, sporting events, parties, blah, blah, blah but when I think about my own life, the most memorable moments (the ones you would tell your kids about) are the off the cuff, simple moments, when people just made the most of life. You know what I mean when I say that? I was thinking about this when I was hanging out with my little cousins. An afternoon hanging with little kids is equivalent to the feeling I get at like five nights out partying. Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration but.... you get the idea. Instead of continuing this dissertation, I would like to tell you a story that is very dear to me that is along the same lines. An experience of “everyday magic” if you will. Are you ready? You better sit down for this….

It was the Summer….. yes, circa 2005 (if I remember correctly) in India.

I had been to the Motherland the year before so I was pretty well acquainted with the locals and such. We stay in a really small town. There are basically only two roads that are named after the larger towns they lead to. Everyone in the town knows one another and my family have lived there for many, many generations. Our house is right in the middle of the main road so many cars and people are constantly passing the house. It's kind of a funny dynamic for me because I can speak Konkani with my relatives but everyone else in the town speaks either Kannada or Thulu. I know many of the townspeople but communicate with them in really shitty Kannada or basically sign language (since no one there speaks English). I usually converse for about 30 seconds with people and we just laugh and enjoy the awkwardness. Anyway, that's the town in a nutshell.

It was the night before my cousin's wedding. He was really excited and a lot of people that had moved away from the tiny town were back for the wedding. Anyway, my cousins love music and they love dancing. We put on some hip beats in their upstairs bedroom and me and a bunch of cousins were getting our groove on. Steps that rivaled things seen on MTV's the Grind back in the day were engaged in. Lots of bhangra moves and such were also seen in that room. We danced and laughed for a while but we wanted to crank the music. Frankly my cousins wanted more space to get jiggy in. So the groom's brother suggested moving the boom box to the front patio (that is street side mind you). The groom (who is quite traditional) was really against the idea. We moved the boom box anyway. We were about to plug it in and my aunts and uncles came out and were really appalled at the idea. Here's some background on that:

The Konkanis (we're Konkanis) in the town are really traditional. When we would go to functions at the local school lots of other people would dance but the Konkanis would just sit and watch. They kept saying that only drunken people dance and even if you're not drunk, people will assume that you are drunk. Another funny thing people would say is that, "Alsheek, ami dance kurnachee. The Christians-ani kurche." Basically that only drunk people and Christians dance in the town. They didn't want to be labeled like that I guess. So the front yard was out of the question. So we sat around and didn't know what to do. The party was over...... for a bit. Out of no where my cousin runs over, plugs the stereo in and a few people start dancing. Then a few more people start dancing. Before I knew it, all my cousins and little cousins were all dancing. The older folks came out to tell us to stop but my cousins didn't listen. So my whole family was dancing outside, totally in the open. At this point, the people dancing were mainly teenagers. My uncle, who loves to dance comes over and asks me if I want to have a couple drinks at a local bar real quick. We run over to the bar with a couple others, get pretty happy and roll back.

As soon as we come back, the dancing is at an all time high. People are creating new dance moves and just really having fun. Then the magical moment happened. Folks from town walked over and started dancing too. Before I knew it all my cousins friends were dancing too and a ton of people were on the street watching everyone dance. By the end of the night, my uncles, aunts, and even older folks were dancing on the patio with no inhibitions. Such pure enjoyment.

Kind of a Footloose moment eh? You think Kenny Loggins was smiling somewhere? So why did that moment strike such a cord with me? I think because it didn't take anything to produce. It was not planned. No one was trying to be cool. No one cared about what other people thought. It was pure. How often can we say that about things we do? We're always worried about how well a night is going. We’re always worried about our expectations for a certain event. We're worried about what this girl or that guy is thinking. All those thoughts were lost in us. We were all alive for those few hours. That's magic.

I think back to college. I went to tons of parties, went to tons of events, and had a ridiculous amount of fun. What do I remember though? Not the formals. Not the fancy dinners or crazy nights but I vividly remember all the nights when me and my fraternity brothers would sit in a circle for hours and play music with pots, pans, cups, and our hands while other people would come and dance in the middle of the circle. People who are shy. People who don’t even like dancing. People who felt safe to come outside their comfort zone. That's magic.

I guess we get so caught up in our routine and focus so much on these big events in our lives. We put unrealistic expectations on them that they can't live up to and all the while what we're really looking for is all around us in the people in our lives. Those moments when you get to act like a kid again. Those moments when you just sit around with you family the entire night and just act goofy. Those moments when you stay up all night just talking to a friend. All magic. I guess the best way to think about it is that most of our memories are like an Etch-a-Sketch drawing. Well developed at times, but after time and newer events they fade out. Magical moments are those moments in time that are vividly painted into our minds. So next time you get caught up in the anticipation for an event or are out with friends, remember that fancy dinners, posh clubs, and crazy vacations are great and often needed but in the end the “magic” we all seek is free.